I must confess, I have cheated a bit, since I promised to do a quality of Spirit per month, and I’ve spent almost two months on “balance,” mostly out of some low grade conundrum about it, rather than in a struggle to demonstrate it.
I express balance in a lot of ways. I’m pretty good about balancing my meals, the topics on this blog, the competing demands of our children, and my schedule between work, church, home and time for myself. I am fairly moderate in my outlook, and listen thoughtfully to both sides of issues. And while I would not be very graceful on a tightrope, I can negotiate a log over a stream easily enough without getting wet. Also, even though I’d love our bank balance to be larger, with the help of our budget we are grateful to be continuing to balance financial income and outflow, which is no minor achievement.
So what am I dragging my feet about? My struggle is more metaphysical and linguistic, I suppose, than practical.
Trained as an engineer, we learned that compression and tension need to be in balance for the stability of a structure; balance is important for a structure so it does not fall down. Likewise, as an artist, I know that a composition must be balanced to be pleasing. Humanly, the concept of balance is clear. It is when it gets into the spiritual realm that it reads so differently.
My difficulty in reconciling the relative nature of balance with an absolute version of the idea is sourced in my rejection of duality, due to repeated experiences that have clearly demonstrated to me God’s all-ness. People that believe in dualities – the ying/yang –say opposite things (like good and evil) must exist in balance. I do not agree, since to me God is infinite, all-powerful, ever-present, and good. While God’s all-ness is certainly balanced, it also obliterates everything unlike itself. I have already had a multitude of proofs that have convinced me of God’s monopoly on power, so I cannot reconsider accepting a dualistic worldview just to reconcile an inconsistent concept of balance.
For example, when people call me as a Christian Science Practitioner complaining about feeling stress or strain, my engineering training kicks in and I explain how stress and strain occur from two opposite forces acting on something, in this case, them. But I don’t tell them to balance those forces the way I would when designing a building. Instead I explain that there is only one Force (God) and once they realize that, the uncomfortable sensation disappears.
So outside the construct of duality, or the even handed distribution of material weight, resources, or time, what does balance even mean? What does it mean to have correct proportions spiritually? With God, there is nothing that needs to be offset; God’s fulcrum is completely encompassed by ever-presence. Furthermore, we each have all of God’s qualities and attributes pre-programmed in, in proper order, concentration, and emphasis.
Since spiritually we were created already in balance, this month I’ve simply resolved to try to get out of the way of that however I can. I am actively desiring to be consistently willing and attentive for God to lead me to whatever balance is for me at any moment, since I am confident that there is no dichotomy on this issue to God. I am choosing to “throw my weight” as it were on the “right side” for Truth, without needing to specifically fathom what I am balancing out by doing that. As I continue to gently cradle this question, I believe God will eventually usher me into a fuller, more universal, understanding of balance.
Meanwhile, I’m moving on, belatedly, to focus on another quality of Spirit.