To the Estranged, the Grieving, the Abused, the Alone, I Hear You

To the Estranged, the Grieving, the Abused, the Alone, I Hear You
For the estranged, the grieving, the abused, the alone A Tree Motif (acrylic) by Polly Castor

I know the holidays are difficult for many. I almost posted photos of our lovely Christmas Day here, and it just felt too glib, too self satisfied, too insensitive. I’ll post them tomorrow after I’ve held a space for those that didn’t quite experience the full joy of the season.

First I want to say to those of you out there hurting or isolated at this time: I hear you, and I feel for you.

This post won’t solve all your issues, but I’m sending you hugs anyway. I hope that counts for something.

I believe you were created in Love, for Love, and I firmly believe Love itself will bring you what you need, and will take you all the way.

Even when it feels dark, and like the light has not yet come for you, I beg you to cherish hope; after all, that’s the Christmas message.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Even if the situation doesn’t change, your attitude about it can. You’ll know where you need to make adjustments.

Some need to stick up for themselves and refuse to be bullied. Others need to lose their upper limits and negative self-talk. Some need to take a stand and walk away from abuse. Some need to stop doing everything for everyone else, and do something for themselves. Some need to get out of the pity party doldrums and think about someone else for a change. Some need to accept charity– get some help already!– while others need to find someone they can serve or help. Some need to let it go. Others need to hold on tight, faithfully and persistently. Some need to create boundaries and stay within them. Others need to accept the uncomfortable and unwanted boundaries others have inflicted on them. Some need to live in the present moment and not wallow in looking back. Others need a good long look in the rear view mirror before resolving to drive forward. Some need to exchange sad loneliness for contented solitude. Some need to put plans in place for a better future. Some need to simply own how wonderful they already are.

I wish I could give you just what you need for Christmas. But you are the one that can do that. I believe in pulling oneself up from one’s own bootstraps. My life hasn’t been perfect either, so I know something about what I’m talking about here. But Life is worth a completely full embrace, even when it is not all its cracked up to be.

A New Year is coming. Let’s make it wonderful, by working within our own spheres of influence. What can you do that will rise you up stronger, more joyous, and more fulfilled? Please! Go for it.

If you are weary, disillusioned, distressed, or sad, first, just let it be. Feel it fully, eventually examine it dispassionately, then treat it like a puzzle or maze, and find your way through it– your own blessed path out.

There is a way. That’s what the coming of the Christ to the manger of our consciousness promises. You may feel like you’ve had an upsetting holiday, but all that really happened is that you are the one Christmas is for.

It’s not about Christmas trees and presents. It is about the coming light of the Christ, shining light right into every needy consciousness, and banishing every bit of darkness. It is coming to solve your situation directly, right where you are. Each problem, pain, and disconnection is a yearning to be filled with the Christ– that still small voice that tells you unequivocally what you need to do (or not do), and supports you in the following of that directive.

Christmas is for those that need help and answers. Listen and receive and take the needed action.

And meanwhile, please know my heart is right here, sitting with you through the process.

I work to amplify good wherever I find it. I love color, texture, beauty, great ideas, nature, metaphor, deliciousness, genuine spirituality, and exploring new territory. I encourage authenticity, nurture creativity, champion sustainability, promote peace, and hope to foster a new renaissance where we all are free to be our most fulfilled, multifaceted, and terrific selves. Read more here.


  1. John gregory 3 years ago

    Christmas without love is empty.

  2. Dilys 3 years ago

    Bless you, Polly! Your kind words touch my heart x

  3. Sue Krevitt 3 years ago

    Awesome Words from an Awesome Individual….thank you, dear Polly. You…rock!
    Happy Newness-Every-Moment-Year!

  4. Susan E Cunniff 3 years ago

    Such a wonderful and poignant post, Polly. We haven’t met yet but in this post I can see we are kindred spirits in that we empathize with the pain of others, especially at this time of year when our perceived “lack” is often most evident. Bless you. Your words have touched me deeply.

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