The Problem with Bullies
 

With bullies
you lose
whatever you do.
 
Most bullies don’t realize
they are bullying or jealous or inappropriate
and they don’t always only pick
on those that are awkward and unsure.
Some bullies think they are leading
when they intimidate, condescend and overrule.
 
Those petty dictators
that so desperately have to be in control
that need to manipulate and manage others
that are too insecure
to live with those that are
at ease in their own authority
they need to cut them down
and break them
like a stick snapped in two
if you don’t kowtow
to their small tyranny…
 
There is no redress
no reasoning with them
for they are too blinded
by their own point of view
to hear or care about anyone else
but to mandate their way
and assert some power
– power over –
is the only model they know;
the idea of equivalent worth,
shared power,
and lack of hierarchy
is an anathema to them.
 
They are quick to assign egregious blame,
lashing out accusatorially
where no offense was meant.
They feel better by making sure
you know your place
by insulting, twisting facts,
insinuating ill intentions,
and humiliating you
to have their way.
 
I’ve tried loving them,
nurturing and assisting them,
stroking their tender egos,
tip toeing around,
holding their hand,
and being generous to them.
 
(But maybe this
makes them feel more inferior
and exacerbates things?)
 
All I know is you can cajole them
just so long
and then someday there will be
some simple, innocent question
on a point of Principle
and it will set them off
and you’ll get SLAMMED
and ground into smithereens.
 
Now I think bullies are best dealt with
as a concept from afar
a scourge to be avoided like the plague
and healed in general, distant prayer
rather than in close up specific.
 
I will not suffer any more bullies
nor take any more on
in hand-to-hand combat.
I will not try to make them see
a better way, nor try to change them.
I realize now what a hopeless idealist I have been.
People don’t get helped
unless they know they need it,
and accept it,
and a bully doesn’t.
 
Now I understand it is best to walk away
and shake the dust off my shoes.
Even Jesus said not to
“cast your pearls before swine.”
I wanted to treat everyone
as God ‘s perfect child
but even the best ever
new there was unreceptive thought out there
and warned us of them.
And by the way, he was
crucified too
by fearful, ungrateful bullies.
But this story shows that ultimately
bullies don’t have the last word.
 
I have learned
that the strong get bullied
sometimes more harshly than the weak
and that I should never compromise myself
for the sake of a superficial peace.
 
 
 
By Polly Castor
8/30/13
 
(References: see Matt 10:14 & Matt 7:6)