The last couple days I’ve posted about some tracking apps, and a way to think more spiritually about your resolutions. Last year in lieu of resolutions, I set forth 20 goals for 2020, and last week I gave you an accountability on how that went. But what about 2021?
Something in me wants to strive, resolve to do hard things, push the envelope so to speak, and bang myself into shape. But a pesky, subliminal message underneath all that is: I’m not good enough already, I’m not worthy yet, maybe someday if I try hard enough I’ll deserve love. Blech!
If you’ve ever read Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies, you’ll remember she divides people up into categories: Obligers, Upholders, Questioners, and Rebels. Yeah, that last one, that’s me. Rebels only do what is deeply authentic, what aligns with their deepest sense of identity, and don’t try to tell them what to do for they will resist that, not only from you, but from themselves.
So I’ve been reflecting on the fact that if I try to do something because I deem it “needs to happen,” that is not motivating or fun, and my rebel tendencies come into play. However, if I do it because of love, or the joy of life, that feels very different, and it happens easily, with vigor and relish.
Then considering the “up to or out from” discussion I blogged about yesterday, I want to set all this striving down and know that I’ve already got it all. I can just be it instead of make it happen. I can let it unfold instead of making it do so. As James and I used to say, I can “give up and be perfect.”
So while I have some large and small goals– some ongoing, renewed, or completely new– which I’m tracking, they are not my resolution. My resolution is to approach everything I do with the sweet gusto of loving life to the utmost. A side effect of this is that it’ll probably make the difficult things easier to deal with and I think I’ll accomplish more, but that’s not the point.
I want to remember I’m already enough. I’m not trying to measure up in any way.
God is Life itself. God is Love. I was created to Love Life, and reflect that in all I do. That is my only job description, my only mandate. I can do this without resistance because it is my deepest authenticity. I can run to this and embrace it wholeheartedly, time and time again. I can celebrate Love and Life this whole year, and interface with it everywhere.
I really look forward to consciously doing this. Such a jubilant prospect! Here’s to loving life in 2021!