–

“Twenty people could look at the same lamp and have 20 different reactions. If someone says, “That lamp is ugly,” that statement actually tells you nothing about the lamp. It does, however, say a lot about them.

Maybe they don’t like gold. Maybe they prefer modern designs. Maybe their eyes are sensitive and the light bulb is too bright. Maybe their mom had a lamp like that, and one time they were throwing a ball in the house and broke it, and that lamp reminds them of being grounded and missing the big dance. You may never discover why they think the lamp is ugly, but it sure ain’t about the lamp.

Remember the lesson of the lamp the next time someone says they didn’t like your recipe/criticized your body/belittled your accomplishments. These assessments say nothing of you and everything about them, from a place you couldn’t even imagine. And carrying their feedback (accepting it, as if you ARE a terrible cook/less attractive/unsuccessful) is choosing to pick up a burden that’s not even yours to hold.

It’s just their lamp; you feel me?”

Melissa Hartwig

–