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Sometimes

Sometimes you have to
do the unpopular thing
and disagree.
I hope you can do it
graciously, but honestly
sometimes you are doing good
to just be barely coping
and disagree anyway.
Sometimes standing up
for what you need
is both difficult for you
and unfathomable to others.
Why would you have a need
contrary to theirs?
Sometimes what other people do
for their own reasons
mows you down,
tramples your garden,
and alienates
what you hold most dear.
Sometimes they’d never notice
unless you had the guts
to unequivocally tell them.
Sometimes you have to
draw a clear line in the sand
to be heard, and hopefully,
eventually be accommodated.
Sometimes it is not your job to
“get over it” but instead
their job to listen
and to modify.
Sometimes going with the flow
comes up against values
that you cherish more.
Sometimes we need to
welcome in more light
instead of being expected
to sit complacently
in the dark.
Sometimes it is not
about opinions
or personal sense
to be given up,
or stubbornness
to let go of,
but of boundaries
that require respect.
Sometimes what
is a big deal to you
will not be
so essential at all
to someone else.
Sometimes people
haven’t considered
the ramifications
you see all too glaringly.
Sometimes what others do
out of innocent enough motives
makes it hard for you to breathe.
Sometimes you need to flail
in order not to suffocate.
Sometimes saying something
or doing something
won’t be pretty or easy
but you need to anyway.
Sometimes you have to
make choices
on what is right for you,
not just for everyone else.
Sometimes you need to
trust your instincts
and this time
not back down and defer.
Sometimes being considerate
of yourself is important too.
Sometimes you’ll discover
that it will be others
who will benefit most
from your inconvenient rebelling.
Sometimes you need to abstain
and stand out of the way,
but yes, sometimes you need to
just unambiguously and
emphatically say no,
gently but firmly.
Sometimes for you to continue
putting up with whatever it is
has become legitimately
unbearable to you.
Sometimes you need to fight
for what you are passionate about,
regardless of the consequences,
even if others don’t understand
why the issue is important
let alone see it your way.
Sometimes our own viseral need
eclipses someone else’s
preferences.
Sometimes we need
to ask from others
what we would
so willingly offer them.
Sometimes it is
just as spiritual
and enlightened
not to be a pushover.
Sometimes we can lay down
ourselves for others
and make the fragile peace
–yet again– by going without,
and being the one
to make concessions,
and facilitate cooperation,
but sometimes
you may actually need
–absurd as it may sound–
to get what you need.
Sometimes you need to
not cower in the corner
unjustified
and hyperventilating
and instead insist upon
satisfaction
and demand it
without excuses
or expanations
no matter how baffled
it makes others,
wondering as they will
why this, why now, why me?
And hopefully not,
but sometimes you need to
be willing to walk away
with all your cards
left unplayed on the table.
Sometimes people
can’t make adjustments
any more than you can
and it is alright
to love them
and still disagree.
Sometimes
loving someone best
is honoring that
they have the right
to think differently too.

Polly Castor
8/2/18

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